Wednesday, April 4, 2012
Stressing OUT!
I am stressing out PEOPLE!!! I have to be at the hospital at 8:30 in the morning for my first PET scan since I finished chemo and radiation! The scan isn't until 9....I am so anxious....ready to get it over with! BUT...I won't find out my results until late Friday or Monday! Which totally sucks...why do they have to make you wait for so long, I think they should have someone there to read it on the spot! I will definitely be in prayer tonight and in the morning....I just don't want to go through all that again. Seriously....it's a hard thing to go through. I know that I laughed and cut up, but at the end of the day it sucked BIG TIME! I'm just so thankful that I was raised to have faith and pray about things and to trust God. So, I am doing what I do best....I am sitting back and letting God have this! I will update y'all as soon as I know something. Just pray that it's good news that you'll hear the next time I update! Oh my gosh....I don't think I will be able to sleep tonight! UGH!!! Goodnight!
Friday, March 30, 2012
Relay For Life
Relay For Life starts at dusk and ends at the next day's morning. The light and darkness of the day and night parallel the physical effects, emotion and mental state of a cancer patient while undergoing treatment.
The RELAY begins when the sun is setting. This symbolizes the time that the person has been diagnosed as having cancer. The day is getting darker and this represents the cancer patient's state of mind as they feel that their life is coming to an end.
As the evening goes on it gets colder and darker, just as the emotions of the cancer patient does. Around 1 am to 2 am represents the time when the cancer patient starts treatment. They become exhausted, some sick, not wanting to go on, possibly wanting to give up. As a participant, you have been walking and feel much the same way. You are tired, want to sleep, maybe even want to go home, but you cannot stop or give up.
Around 4 am to 5 am symbolizes the coming of the end of treatment for the cancer patient. Once again they are tired, but they know they will make it.
The sun rising represents the end of treatment for the cancer patient. They see the light at the end of the tunnel and know that life will go on. The morning light brings on a new day full of life and excitement for new beginnings for the cancer patient. As a participant, you will feel the brightness of the morning and know that the end of the RELAY is close at hand.
When you leave the RELAY, think of the cancer patient leaving their last treatment. Just as you are exhausted and weak, so is that person after treatment.
REMEMBER: There is NO finish line until we find a cure!!!!
The RELAY begins when the sun is setting. This symbolizes the time that the person has been diagnosed as having cancer. The day is getting darker and this represents the cancer patient's state of mind as they feel that their life is coming to an end.
As the evening goes on it gets colder and darker, just as the emotions of the cancer patient does. Around 1 am to 2 am represents the time when the cancer patient starts treatment. They become exhausted, some sick, not wanting to go on, possibly wanting to give up. As a participant, you have been walking and feel much the same way. You are tired, want to sleep, maybe even want to go home, but you cannot stop or give up.
Around 4 am to 5 am symbolizes the coming of the end of treatment for the cancer patient. Once again they are tired, but they know they will make it.
The sun rising represents the end of treatment for the cancer patient. They see the light at the end of the tunnel and know that life will go on. The morning light brings on a new day full of life and excitement for new beginnings for the cancer patient. As a participant, you will feel the brightness of the morning and know that the end of the RELAY is close at hand.
When you leave the RELAY, think of the cancer patient leaving their last treatment. Just as you are exhausted and weak, so is that person after treatment.
REMEMBER: There is NO finish line until we find a cure!!!!
It's been a while!
So...I really have meant to get on here and update you on my junk, but I just feel like I don't have enough time in the day to get everything done that I want to get done! :)
I am finished with my treatment!!!! Whooohooooo!!! I have my first PET scan on April 5th and I am extremely nervous about it. I never did lose my hair, which is awesome!!! My doctor said he has never seen anyone receive the chemo I did and not lose their hair....guess I'm a little abnormal!:)
Remember how I said that I just want to be able to share my story? Well...GUESS WHAT....I am speaking at Relay For Life in Tifton, GA (on the 27th of April) and the one in Ashburn, GA (May 18th)...so I am getting my chance to tell my story. I am NOT a public speaker and I'm afraid I may need a puke bucket! Every time I think about getting up there and telling my story I get all emotional....I still can't believe that I am finished with everything....actually, I still can't believe all this has happened to me. Sometimes I look at Andrew (who is now a year old and he is precious and GREAT) and I think about being asked to terminate my pregnancy to go ahead with the hysterectomy....I can't imagine my life without him!!!! He is walking around everywhere and he melts my heart every day. Barry, Joey and Samuel are doing good too....Sam just turned 4 and Joey will be 12 in August....this past year is a blur....I do not even remember being in the hospital in Atlanta, just bits and pieces, but that's it. I am still so thankful for everyone of you that has prayed for us and been there for us. It really means so much to me to know that I had an army behind me cheering me on.
Relay for Life stuff has been really emotional for me. I am not walking this year as a supporter to help find a cure......I'M WALKING AS A SURVIVOR!!!! Cancer has hit my community hard these past couple of years and a couple of people has lost their battle...which really makes me feel extremely guilty. Don't get me wrong...I am grateful that God allowed me to stick around to raise my babies, but why don't their kids deserve to be raised by their mommies??? What makes me so special to be ok? If you've never been through this, you may not understand. BUT....their families are hurting and their children and parents and sisters and brothers and cousins....it could've so easily have been me. I thank God every day for using me and keeping me around for a little while longer. It's just really hard when someone loses their battle with cancer.
Anyway....if anyone of you would like to support Relay For Life....go to www.relayforlife.org and put in Tifton, GA or Ashburn, GA and then you can donate directly to my team....the team's name is Team Jayme!!!!
I am finished with my treatment!!!! Whooohooooo!!! I have my first PET scan on April 5th and I am extremely nervous about it. I never did lose my hair, which is awesome!!! My doctor said he has never seen anyone receive the chemo I did and not lose their hair....guess I'm a little abnormal!:)
Remember how I said that I just want to be able to share my story? Well...GUESS WHAT....I am speaking at Relay For Life in Tifton, GA (on the 27th of April) and the one in Ashburn, GA (May 18th)...so I am getting my chance to tell my story. I am NOT a public speaker and I'm afraid I may need a puke bucket! Every time I think about getting up there and telling my story I get all emotional....I still can't believe that I am finished with everything....actually, I still can't believe all this has happened to me. Sometimes I look at Andrew (who is now a year old and he is precious and GREAT) and I think about being asked to terminate my pregnancy to go ahead with the hysterectomy....I can't imagine my life without him!!!! He is walking around everywhere and he melts my heart every day. Barry, Joey and Samuel are doing good too....Sam just turned 4 and Joey will be 12 in August....this past year is a blur....I do not even remember being in the hospital in Atlanta, just bits and pieces, but that's it. I am still so thankful for everyone of you that has prayed for us and been there for us. It really means so much to me to know that I had an army behind me cheering me on.
Relay for Life stuff has been really emotional for me. I am not walking this year as a supporter to help find a cure......I'M WALKING AS A SURVIVOR!!!! Cancer has hit my community hard these past couple of years and a couple of people has lost their battle...which really makes me feel extremely guilty. Don't get me wrong...I am grateful that God allowed me to stick around to raise my babies, but why don't their kids deserve to be raised by their mommies??? What makes me so special to be ok? If you've never been through this, you may not understand. BUT....their families are hurting and their children and parents and sisters and brothers and cousins....it could've so easily have been me. I thank God every day for using me and keeping me around for a little while longer. It's just really hard when someone loses their battle with cancer.
Anyway....if anyone of you would like to support Relay For Life....go to www.relayforlife.org and put in Tifton, GA or Ashburn, GA and then you can donate directly to my team....the team's name is Team Jayme!!!!
Thursday, January 26, 2012
Last man standing!
I just finished my last full day of chemo....have the 5FU pump until Monday (hooked through my port in my chest)....then I am DONE! Praise the Lord! My poor body is scarred, has foreign objects in it, and has dwindled down to 103 pounds. But...I am a fighter and I hope that people have been encouraged by this road I have traveled down. I am so thankful for being raised by the parents I have and being part of a huge loving and supportive family. I don't know if I would be as strong without them!
My Mama mailed me a card the other day and I read it every day. It says:
" You have what it takes! Adversity can bring out the best in people and that's certainly true of you! Your courage is an inspiration!"
"To my precious Jayme,
Honey, first off-I love you! You continue to amaze me with your courage and faith. You are one of the strongest women I have ever had in my life.....I've seen you fall several times when life has knocked you down...you always take it in your heart and figure out a way to rise above and get through it. I am so proud of you, to see your amazing faith has been uplifting to my own faith. When I've been so scared that I could barely breathe...there you are comforting me. When I've seen you feel so bad, you could always see my worry and would tell me 'Mama it's gonna be ok!'. Because of you (my blessing and true gift from God) I have gotten to witness true courage and true faith in Jesus! You have made me stronger in my own walk with the Lord! There's no way I can ever tell you how much I love you...just like you can't put into words the way you feel about your precious little boys! I love you seems so weak...but I do! 'as long as I'm living my baby you'll be!'. I pray for God to bless you with good health and happiness from this day forward! So many things in this old world may make you have doubt...but you never have to doubt God's love for you or mine! I love you! Mama"
This is how I was raised! I have been loved unconditionally my entire life and I thank God for the love I have. My Mama says I'm her gift from God, but truly she is my gift from Him!
To all of you that have been praying I thank you from the bottom of my heart! I am grateful and humbled to have the people in my life that I do!
I expect to see all of you at my celebration party...when it happens! And I also encourage each of you to be part of Relay for Life! You never really understand what a difference studies and research have on hinge....but I am here to tell you....without the canr research, I wouldn't be where I am! I have handled this like a fighter! I am proud of myself! I DID IT! The tears are flowing as I type this.....to try to explain to someone that's never been throughh it....there are no words to describe the brutality it is to your body! I pray that none of you will ever be faced with this! It's by far the hardest thing I have ever done. I'm gonna be honest.....I actually thought about opting out...I even talked to the doctor! Besides the fact that my family would kill me if I did....I'm a fighter and I don't quit! I just held my head up high and walked into the Oncology Center and sat there as they put that poison into my body again! I sat and I prayed for the other people in there and I thanked God for allowing me to go through this so I could be an example of faith and endurance to other people. If my story helps just one person, it would be worth it.
In a couple of months I will have a CT scan done.....then they will tell me that my cancer is gone and I am in remission! Gotta stay positive people! Again, I am so thankful for you all and still would love to meet the people that are reading my blog!!!!!!
Love and prayers to you all!
My Mama mailed me a card the other day and I read it every day. It says:
" You have what it takes! Adversity can bring out the best in people and that's certainly true of you! Your courage is an inspiration!"
"To my precious Jayme,
Honey, first off-I love you! You continue to amaze me with your courage and faith. You are one of the strongest women I have ever had in my life.....I've seen you fall several times when life has knocked you down...you always take it in your heart and figure out a way to rise above and get through it. I am so proud of you, to see your amazing faith has been uplifting to my own faith. When I've been so scared that I could barely breathe...there you are comforting me. When I've seen you feel so bad, you could always see my worry and would tell me 'Mama it's gonna be ok!'. Because of you (my blessing and true gift from God) I have gotten to witness true courage and true faith in Jesus! You have made me stronger in my own walk with the Lord! There's no way I can ever tell you how much I love you...just like you can't put into words the way you feel about your precious little boys! I love you seems so weak...but I do! 'as long as I'm living my baby you'll be!'. I pray for God to bless you with good health and happiness from this day forward! So many things in this old world may make you have doubt...but you never have to doubt God's love for you or mine! I love you! Mama"
This is how I was raised! I have been loved unconditionally my entire life and I thank God for the love I have. My Mama says I'm her gift from God, but truly she is my gift from Him!
To all of you that have been praying I thank you from the bottom of my heart! I am grateful and humbled to have the people in my life that I do!
I expect to see all of you at my celebration party...when it happens! And I also encourage each of you to be part of Relay for Life! You never really understand what a difference studies and research have on hinge....but I am here to tell you....without the canr research, I wouldn't be where I am! I have handled this like a fighter! I am proud of myself! I DID IT! The tears are flowing as I type this.....to try to explain to someone that's never been throughh it....there are no words to describe the brutality it is to your body! I pray that none of you will ever be faced with this! It's by far the hardest thing I have ever done. I'm gonna be honest.....I actually thought about opting out...I even talked to the doctor! Besides the fact that my family would kill me if I did....I'm a fighter and I don't quit! I just held my head up high and walked into the Oncology Center and sat there as they put that poison into my body again! I sat and I prayed for the other people in there and I thanked God for allowing me to go through this so I could be an example of faith and endurance to other people. If my story helps just one person, it would be worth it.
In a couple of months I will have a CT scan done.....then they will tell me that my cancer is gone and I am in remission! Gotta stay positive people! Again, I am so thankful for you all and still would love to meet the people that are reading my blog!!!!!!
Love and prayers to you all!
Wednesday, January 11, 2012
Wow....It's almost over!
I have been meaning to get on here and update my blog for a while....but I've had a rough time lately. I guess the more chemo you do it builds up in your system and it takes longer to feel better....which, when I thought about it, makes a lot of sense....just never had to think about it until now! :)
I finished my 3rd round of chemo....only 1 more left! Radiation is over now too! I don't have a another dr appt until the 19th and am supposed to start my final round of chemo on the 20th. I am so thankful for the break...I was seriously considering opting out of the last chemo...that's how bad I have felt. Chemo is a very rotten and brutal thing to go through, but it's not as bad as you see on T.V. When I first started I was terrified that I was going to be bed ridden for months and sick all the time....don't get me wrong, there are days that I
just lay around a feel rotten and I only get sick once I am finished with the round of chemo. Sounds crazy...you'd think you'd be sick during....I'm just really tired during and have LOTS of hot flashes. The hot flashes are HORRIBLE!!! It's probably a combination of the hysterectomy and the chemo. I am just so ready for all of this to be OVER! There is so much sickness going around right now....so many people have cancer. I am so thankful that mine isn't worse than it is and they are telling me that I am going to be ok. I can't imagine only prolonging my life. I pray every day for the people and families that are affected by cancer.
I have been thinking about Relay for Life this year....I'm excited to go and wear my tshirt and walk with PRIDE. I am proud of myself for making it through this...well, almost. I really want to have a celebration when I'm done....everyone wearing their shirts!!!! What great pictures that would be!
Oh....by the way....I felt great during Christmas and New Year's....thank you all for the things you have done for me and my family. Meals, gifts, donations, phone calls, text messages, cards....most importantly the prayers.....it all has meant so very much to me and I will never be able to express the thanks and appreciation I have in my heart for you all. God certainly has a way of making things a little brighter when you just rely on Him. I am so blessed!!!!
Love to you all!!!
I finished my 3rd round of chemo....only 1 more left! Radiation is over now too! I don't have a another dr appt until the 19th and am supposed to start my final round of chemo on the 20th. I am so thankful for the break...I was seriously considering opting out of the last chemo...that's how bad I have felt. Chemo is a very rotten and brutal thing to go through, but it's not as bad as you see on T.V. When I first started I was terrified that I was going to be bed ridden for months and sick all the time....don't get me wrong, there are days that I
just lay around a feel rotten and I only get sick once I am finished with the round of chemo. Sounds crazy...you'd think you'd be sick during....I'm just really tired during and have LOTS of hot flashes. The hot flashes are HORRIBLE!!! It's probably a combination of the hysterectomy and the chemo. I am just so ready for all of this to be OVER! There is so much sickness going around right now....so many people have cancer. I am so thankful that mine isn't worse than it is and they are telling me that I am going to be ok. I can't imagine only prolonging my life. I pray every day for the people and families that are affected by cancer.
I have been thinking about Relay for Life this year....I'm excited to go and wear my tshirt and walk with PRIDE. I am proud of myself for making it through this...well, almost. I really want to have a celebration when I'm done....everyone wearing their shirts!!!! What great pictures that would be!
Oh....by the way....I felt great during Christmas and New Year's....thank you all for the things you have done for me and my family. Meals, gifts, donations, phone calls, text messages, cards....most importantly the prayers.....it all has meant so very much to me and I will never be able to express the thanks and appreciation I have in my heart for you all. God certainly has a way of making things a little brighter when you just rely on Him. I am so blessed!!!!
Love to you all!!!
Tuesday, December 20, 2011
The Way to GOD
I received a card from someone that I don't know....she knows my cousin in Illionois and she sent me this beautiful card.
The Way to God:
If my days were untroubled and my heart always light,
Would I seek that fair land where there is no night?
If I never grew weary with the weight of my load,
would I seach for God's peace at the end of the road?
If I never knew sickness and never felt pain,
would I reach for a hand to help and sustain?
If I walked not with sorrow, and not lived with loss,
Would my soul seek sweet solace at the foot of the cross?
If all I desired was mine day by day,
Would I kneel before God and earnestly pray??
I ask myself this, and the answer is plain-
If my life were all pleasure and I never knew pain, I'd seek God less often and need Him much less,
For God's sought more often in times of distress
And NO ONE knows God or sees Him as plain as those who have met HIM on the pathway to pain!!!!
She then wrote me a letter telling that I am an inspiration to her....but no, you all who send me these messages and cards and letters...YOU ARE MY INSPIRATION!!! We serve an awesome God people!!!! I pray that you each have a wonderful Christmas holiday with your families and please know that you are all truly blessed beyond any circumstance you feel is holding you back. Our God has a reason as HE has such a great plan....just hold on tight and pray even harder because our little minds cannot come close to comprehending what He has in store for us. I love each and every one of you so much and look forwarding to hearing for you all!!! Love to you all!!!!
The Way to God:
If my days were untroubled and my heart always light,
Would I seek that fair land where there is no night?
If I never grew weary with the weight of my load,
would I seach for God's peace at the end of the road?
If I never knew sickness and never felt pain,
would I reach for a hand to help and sustain?
If I walked not with sorrow, and not lived with loss,
Would my soul seek sweet solace at the foot of the cross?
If all I desired was mine day by day,
Would I kneel before God and earnestly pray??
I ask myself this, and the answer is plain-
If my life were all pleasure and I never knew pain, I'd seek God less often and need Him much less,
For God's sought more often in times of distress
And NO ONE knows God or sees Him as plain as those who have met HIM on the pathway to pain!!!!
She then wrote me a letter telling that I am an inspiration to her....but no, you all who send me these messages and cards and letters...YOU ARE MY INSPIRATION!!! We serve an awesome God people!!!! I pray that you each have a wonderful Christmas holiday with your families and please know that you are all truly blessed beyond any circumstance you feel is holding you back. Our God has a reason as HE has such a great plan....just hold on tight and pray even harder because our little minds cannot come close to comprehending what He has in store for us. I love each and every one of you so much and look forwarding to hearing for you all!!! Love to you all!!!!
Ahhhh.....LIFE IS AWESOME!!!!!
So....I know, it's been a while since I posted. Nothing too exciting has been going on....I'm just to dang lazy to get up and get on the computer. Last week, I ended up in the ER on Tuesday night....my upset stomach had me dehydrated and had me in a lot of pain. So....anyway, I'm good now. I've just been sleeping, trying to eat (LOST MORE WEIGHT....UGH.....I only weigh 107.9) BUT, they assure me that as soon as radiation is over that my stomach will get back to normal and I will be able to eat a full meal again...right now I'm eating basically like a 3 year old....my stomach just can't handle a lot.
I have been feeling like myself again the past few days and it feels great!!! I am actually excited about Christmas now...I wasn't too sure how I was going to make it through it with my boys. BUT, sometimes you meet people that bring things into prospective. I met a woman that has her chemo bag attached to her for 25 days....25 days people!!!!! I fuss about a week....she is also only on one type of chemo, so hers isn't as rough as mine, but still having to be attached to that stupid bag for that long can make you can insane. Please when you think about me....think about all of the other people that have cancer. You reallly can't tell that I have cancer....my hair has not started falling out at all...it's actually turning grey. Some of you have seen me out.....which I have to make myself get out in the public to make myself feel less isolated, but I think I've developed some sort of germ fobia. When I walk in somewhere and see a ton of people, I have to either walk back out or put my face in my jacket.....everywhere I look, it's like to air is green....ugh!!!! I start sweating and have to sit down. NOT COOL! Hugging people (which I am usually a hugger) makes me cringe. It's just the weirdest thing ever.
People have been so kind to us during this stormin our life and I am going to try to send out thank you cards. It's been a long rough road...we started all of the October 2010 (when I was diagnosed).
Love to you all!!! I will update again in a little bit....hopefully!!
I have been feeling like myself again the past few days and it feels great!!! I am actually excited about Christmas now...I wasn't too sure how I was going to make it through it with my boys. BUT, sometimes you meet people that bring things into prospective. I met a woman that has her chemo bag attached to her for 25 days....25 days people!!!!! I fuss about a week....she is also only on one type of chemo, so hers isn't as rough as mine, but still having to be attached to that stupid bag for that long can make you can insane. Please when you think about me....think about all of the other people that have cancer. You reallly can't tell that I have cancer....my hair has not started falling out at all...it's actually turning grey. Some of you have seen me out.....which I have to make myself get out in the public to make myself feel less isolated, but I think I've developed some sort of germ fobia. When I walk in somewhere and see a ton of people, I have to either walk back out or put my face in my jacket.....everywhere I look, it's like to air is green....ugh!!!! I start sweating and have to sit down. NOT COOL! Hugging people (which I am usually a hugger) makes me cringe. It's just the weirdest thing ever.
People have been so kind to us during this stormin our life and I am going to try to send out thank you cards. It's been a long rough road...we started all of the October 2010 (when I was diagnosed).
Love to you all!!! I will update again in a little bit....hopefully!!
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