So...met with the chemo doctor today. I start chemo on the 14th. *sigh* I will have to have some sort of education class where they will tell me all about what I'm about to go through. I do that on Wednesday! Then...when they did my port and my kidney stint, they weren't able to biopsy anything, so I may have to go to Albany to have a biopsy done using a ct scan! I will find that out on Monday. The doctor said I could lose my hair anywhere from 2 days to weeks after my first chemo treatment. I am now a little nervous and scared. I'm afraid I'm going to be sick the entire time and not be able to take care of my little boys. BUT...the doctor and nurses assure me that they will give me meds to take care of the side affects. I'm just a little overwhelmed....feeling kinda sad and irritable....not to mention still sore!!!
I told Sam that I was going to have to start taking some medicine and it was going to make my hair fall out....he cried and said "but I like to play with your hair mommy!" So...I promised him that I would shave my head and keep it for him to play with.
This is a very emotional process....although I'm fine with it and I know that the outcome will be great...it's almost surreal, I guess. I thought this was behind me and now I've got to deal with it all over again. I'm also so worried about my mama and daddy and my sisters...I don't want them to worry about me because I know I will be fine....and I don't want them to cry anymore for me! It just makes me sad.
We are going to have a pity party and a head shaving party at the same time....I think this is hilarious!!! I might as well embrace it!!! :) I will have to take some pictures so everyone can be part of it! Everyone is buying tshirts to show their support for me....I think that is awesome!!! I hope everyone takes pictures in their shirts so I can see them.
Hanging in the Oncology Center was this sign:
What Cancer Can't Do:
It can't prevent love
It can't conquer the spirit
It can't silence courage
It can't take away memories
It can't weaken faith
It can't defeat hope
When I was leaving my appointment today, I overheard the nurses saying "We're gonna have fun with that one!" I love it!!! I pray that I learn what God is using this to teach me...maybe it's not to stare at someone with a bald head....come on, we all know we're guilty of this one!!!! Maybe God is using me to show people what faith, courage and hope look like. I'm not sure, but whatever it is....I pray it happens!!!
Love to each of you!!!
Wish I were closer so that I could do more for you and so that I could join you in your pity party. Would totally shave my head for you...Everything will be fine and you'll pull through this with the love of your family and friends
ReplyDeleteJayme, I know that I am scared, nervous, and anxious for you....I can only imagine how overwhelming these feelings and emotions are for you! It's like, 'Wow! This is really happening!' and you are being such a trooper! I want you to know that its okay to be scared...its okay to be nervous, its okay to cry. No one expects you not to have these feelings! You know that I am always here...to listen, to laugh with, to offer a shoulder to cry on or to cry with you, to love you, to help you, to shave your head, to throw you a pity party, to bring you Pepsi, or anything else I can do during this journey!!!! As you prepare to face this battle head on, and in true Jayme style, I want to remind you to take it one precious day at a time, always know that your prayer warriors are lifting you up in prayer, and most importantly that God is there with you and during the times when you are weak and feel like you don't know how much more you can take, it will be those times that God will carry you through! I love you more than you know! Keep your spirit up and your faith strong....YOU TOTALLY GOT THIS :-)
ReplyDeleteYou are beautiful on the inside and will always be gorgeous on the outside....even bald! Just think...no blowdrying, not having to fix your hair, the wind won't blow it after u spent time on it, u won't have to worry about stray greys and getting ur roots touched up!! Dang....I'm bout to convince myself to shave my head. Lol....
ReplyDeleteCant wait to proudly wear my t-shirt in support for a wonderful person like u! Love u chic!!! Keep smiling! :-)