Round 2 bites the dust!!!!

Today I officially completed round 2 of chemo!!! Whoot Whoot!!!  I am half way there people....I am half way there!  I meant to update my blog all week, but chemo really takes it out of me and I don't really have much energy to do much.

I laid down to take a nap today and all I could do is cry.  I cried, not for me, but for my boys, for my Mama,  and for my husband.  My boys miss me and it breaks my heart that I can't be the Mama that I usually am for them right now.  They know we aren't supposed to be living at Mema's all the time...they just know that something isn't right and it makes me so sad.  My Mama.....I see the worry and the stress in her eyes....I just wish that my Grandma was here to comfort her the way she has me.  I know that just a small touch from her would make my Mama feel better.....it just breaks my heart.  My husbands is so ready to have his family back in our own house again...he goes back and forth so much and I see the exhaustion on his face.  I just think about them all and I know that it's all my fault and there's nothing I can do to fix it right now.  So, when you pray for me....please pray for my family.  Cancer doesn't just affect the person who has it....it affects every one that is close to that person. 

Speaking of Cancer....what does it look like?  When you think of someone that has cancer...do you think of a 33 year old mother, wife, daughter???  Or do you think of the old lady down the street?  People....cancer wears many different hats and affects everyone differently.  I have been driving myself to treatments this week (and am quite proud of myself)...but when I was driving the other day, I looked at the car next to me and the first thing I thought was I wonder if they have cancer!  You never know....I'm sure no one would look at me and think I have it.  As a matter of fact....I've been told that I look good and was told the other day that I didn't look like what someone thought I would look like.  I guess that's good, but it just made me sad that we probably come in contact with someone with cancer, but we just don't think they look like they have cancer.  I really hope that we can all start thinking about the people we come in contact with.  You really have no idea what they are going through....your kind words, smile or just an act of kindness could really mean the world to someone. 

Well....I think my hair is about to start falling out.  I've noticed some hair in the tub when I get out...it's not a lot, but it's definitely there.  I thought I would be ready for it to happen, but to be honest...I'm not so sure I want to look like I've got cancer.  I know that sounds so shallow, especially after my paragraph above...but let me explain....I like being the one that shows people there's another side to this crap!  I mean...I could care less about the hair...it's more the statement than anything.  I just keep thinking of all the little children that go through this....can you imagine...your child having cancer?  I'm sure my Mama never thought she'd say she would understand what those parents go through and even though I'm 33...I'm still my Mama's baby!

I pray that you all are doing great and will try to keep you updated a little better!!

Love to you all!!!